Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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