She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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