do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
zippers are such a cool invention
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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