His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
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You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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