Who wears a wallet chain?!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize