so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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