Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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