Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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