you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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