We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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