i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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