if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize