I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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