I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize