The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
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remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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