Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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