so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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