I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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