Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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