Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.

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  (407): Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007. http://tfl.nu/n4mi
  Replies (9) Good night (2972) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk

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  (301): Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk http://tfl.nu/lzse
  Replies (20) Good night (5634) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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  (201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng
  Replies (9) Good night (3409) Bad night (599)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  there were more penises there than on chat roulette

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  (571): there were more penises there than on chat roulette http://tfl.nu/5x41
  Replies (22) Good night (1080) Bad night (3271) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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  (740): becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard. http://tfl.nu/avz2
  Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (2490)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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  (978): What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax? http://tfl.nu/zknj
  Replies (12) Good night (3494) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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  (808): you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech http://tfl.nu/bl5m
  Replies (25) Good night (4402) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
  Replies (28) Good night (1383) Bad night (3268) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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  (+61): Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying http://tfl.nu/56hl
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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  (860): Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits http://tfl.nu/8x16
  Replies (8) Good night (936) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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  (870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (494)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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  (410): You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip http://tfl.nu/bjin
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.

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  (530): At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up. http://tfl.nu/1byu
  Replies (1) Good night (1205) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.

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  (956): So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom. http://tfl.nu/5pcj
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

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  (303): Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/4t4l
  Replies (9) Good night (807) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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