only if we run a train.
done.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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