Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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