Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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