No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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