I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i will never coherently bang her
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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