ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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