put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize