well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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