dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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