I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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