Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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