I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize