i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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