my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize