i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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