Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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