If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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