on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
me + whiskey = a bad person
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The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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