Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize