He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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