new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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