Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize