didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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