yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize