why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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