i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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