I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
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They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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