so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
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I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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