Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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