I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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