It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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